Optimising performance

"You have to edit and recompile your source code for the next twelve months," the Hierarch told Arioch.

"I have source code?" Arioch asked, wincing inside. It never looked good to appear bewildered in front of the hierarchy.

"All minions must edit and recompile their source code so they are optimised for the due prosecution of corporate goals in the next work year."

"What are the corporate goals?"

"They are in your source code."

Arioch frowned. "...But I wasn't here at the last compile. I don't have them."

"Then create some in accordance with corporate goals."

"But I - Okay." Arioch was desperate for time to work out how to fake something. It was not as if anyone would ever look at the source code.

"By the end of today."

"Okay."

The Hierarch bustled off to harrass a stapler. Arioch looked over his collection of corporate manuals and found them big on profundities, short on procedures. "It's not even as if I know what language I'm compiled in," he muttered, reaching for the Pause/Break button at the back of his skull.